In the Eye of the Beholder
by Gun toten Girly
Summary: -Oneshot- A comical or at least relatively comical look through the eyes of Raven on her first day as a Titan. What was really going through her mind when she first had a conversation with Starfire, and why is she so dark all the time?


**Authoress Note: **_Hey guys! Yup! You guessed it! Another oneshot! I've been mulling over this for awhile, and I hope you like it as much as I do!_

_**I tried to make it a more comical look through the eyes of Raven instead of all the depressing and dark ways people describe her. I'm deeply sorry if no one saw the intention besides me. Raven will be OOC for this story but it's just to uplift everyone's persona on her.**_

_**It'll get funnier the farther you read!!**_

_I do not own anything Teen Titans related. All property is rightful ownership of DC Comics and Cartoon Network. Copy write not intended. All rights reserved._

* * *

_**In the Eye of the Beholder**_

* * *

I still didn't know what to think of all this. I mean, a week ago I was living in an alley, and now I was living in a giant "T" shaped tower with an alien, a boy-wonder, a changeling, and a cyborg.

What had my life — or lack thereof — come to?

I was rather pleased whenever I felt a hint of fear in my teammates whenever I walked by. Of course it still hurt deeply, but I was rather happy that they did fear me. I didn't want them growing too attached to me. After all, my entire destiny opposed to what I agreed to fight against. They wouldn't take too kindly to me if I told them I was actually evil and hell-bent on destroying the world.

Not that I wanted to, but I didn't exactly have a choice in the matter.

Oh well. I only acted depressing because that's what the monks of Azarath thought would keep my emotions in check. And for a while I believed them and even told other people that was the cause of my dark demeanor. But the real problem was I felt too much of the people _around_ me, not my emotions myself. I could laugh and cry and grow really pissed without things blowing up, but whenever it's someone else in the room you can expect me to be hauling ass out of there.

Right now I was sitting on my black bed — because that was the color that was expected of me — wondering when in the world dinner would be here. I never usually ate with my other teammates, I didn't really know them and I was glad for that. I didn't want to grow too emotionally fond of them because then it would end really badly.

So just as I was about to sigh dramatically and heave myself off my bed to go wandering around my new home, there was a very strong knock at my door.

The alien — or Starfire –was here. She was just a bit... _too_ bubbly and happy for me... I could barely remember my other teammate's names and I felt guilty for that, another reason why I never 'hung-out' with them. I swear the English slang on this planet will give me a brain hemorrhage one of these days.

So I sighed anyway and floated towards the door, all the while pulling on my mask of depression and my cowl around my face so no one could see my face. Contrary to popular belief I am not emo or goth or whatever word these humans used to describe me. I just liked black; so hard to believe, yes I know, but when I saw it here on this planet I was shocked. I thought it was only a color on Azarath! So I took it, naturally, not knowing there was something called 'money' here. Ridiculous; everything on Azarath was free.

After carefully placing my emotionless face on I opened the door a crack, better to keep up with appearances, I suppose.

And what a surprise; the alien — err, Starfire — was standing on the other side, looking as nervous as hell (trust me, I've been there before and you can get pretty nervous there).

"Yes... Starfire?" I felt so relieved when I remembered her name in time. Wow would that have ended badly if I didn't.

A tidal wave of nervousness and relief collided into me and I had the sudden urge to gasp for air as if I was really underwater. Wow, when this girl said Tamotarecs (or whatever her people are called) felt strongly she wasn't kidding.

Ah hell.

_Control_, I thought. Now would not be an all too pleasant time to forget and blow the tower to smithereens. Ha, what a funny mental image.

_Anyway!_ Starfire was talking, so I better listen to her, not that I wanted to, but it was common courtesy, something I was practically beaten into me for me understand and automagically react to.

"... and I was pondering on the thought of—" Wow this girl needed to learn some proper English. Don't get me wrong, I hate the language as much as the next inter-dimensional half-demon, but this was a little to the extent, if you know what I mean. "— if by, perhaps, you would consider my proposition of spending the so called "girl-time" with me?"

I blinked.

Then blinked again.

I wasn't sure how many times I blinked, maybe at least six, before I finally grasped what she was saying.

_Girl time_, I scoffed in my mind. _With me?_ What sane person — I looked back at her anxious figure — scratch that, _relatively_ sane person would want to even juggle the question of hanging out with me? Usually they just scurried off screaming and crying with a look of sheer terror on their faces.

But this girl... there was something different about her. I sifted through the anxiety and nervousness and found something I have never before felt when talking with someone.

Genuine sincerity. She _wanted_ to hang-out with me.

Whoa, serious reality-check.

"Uh," my mouth croaked. Smart, very smart, Raven. "Sure?"

Oh god. What had I done?

She squealed and I was instantly barraged with glee and happiness. Wow, this girl would be the comparison of a hot air balloon filled with joy instead of hot air. It took all the concentration I had not to burst _all_ the windows in the house, but I think I might've heard a crack or two...

Oh wait, she was talking again. I focused my now stressed mind into comprehending what the alien was saying.

"We could discuss the topic of boys and read magazines together... or, OH! We could give each other this so called 'makeover' I have heard so much about—"

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Makeover? I might not be a goth — still not entirely sure yet — but I do _not_ do makeovers. Why, you ask? Well I had it drilled into my mind long ago that I was not the prettiest being in the world. Hell, look at this girl in front of me. Tanned skin, long flowing red hair, and beautiful jade eyes.

And what do I have? I scoffed to even think about it.

"No," I held up my hand, cutting her off shortly. I instantly regretted it when an icy-cold mist of hurt and confusion tingled up my body. "We can do all the other things," I was internally jumping for joy while on the outside looking extremely displeased. I _really_ wanted someone to just be myself with, but I was too scared to lose them in the long run. Yah, you guessed it, I was supposed to die when I turned eighteen. I'm not entirely sure why, never got around to researching more, but I did know it was pointless to befriend people when in the end I was just going to hurt them.

She sighed. Damn this girl has got big lungs. Nine stomachs, yeah, I can understand that (not really) but I wouldn't be entirely surprised if she had the equivalent of a gas tank when it came to oxygen storage.

Yeah, now that I think about it, I would be surprised.

Shudder.

"If you insist — OH MY!"

Okay, seriously, was this girl bi-polar or something? First she's nervous (perfectly understandable when you're talking to someone like me), then she's completely euphoric (I was still in slight awe at her colossal ability to be so _happy_), now she's... shocked?

What the hell?

This... alien is going to be the frickin' death of me (ha ha, funny joke). I mean, COME ON! I feel emotions around me — and blow things up in the process — so I decide to avoid people to not hurt them, and then, of all things, this girl is paired up with me _in the same flippin' house_.

What had my father done to God to make him hate me so much? What was it, like a poker game he won? Did God's girlfriend cheat on him?

Shudder. Ew, my dad with anyone?

Jeez, freak show.

"Friend Raven!"

Dude, _seriously_, if she wanted to use the word 'friend' a lot she should use it on someone other than me. I mean, it hurts when I can't say that she's my friend back. But she doesn't know that yet...

"... Yeah?" ...Was I incapable of speaking with a calm, steady voice? Would it be _so_ hard to just speak once in the presence of this girl without making myself look like an utter fool?

Um... judging by the way she's looking at me, I'd say no.

Her eyes looked (literally) like tennis balls, what with her cornea being green too. How odd, I don't think I noticed that on her. Well then, I guess we're both unique.

...Along with the half robot, green boy, and obsessive kid who wear a freakin' piece nylon on his face. I mean, c'mon! Who wears _nylon_ over their eyes?! Aren't you supposed to do that when you don't want to see something? I wonder if everything is white for Robin, what with his "mask" being a see-through white, supposedly.

Makes you wonder, eh?

Okay, what was it with people (or alien things) with staring at me like they've seen a ghost —?

Uh oh.

I reached up my hand to feel my hair and, wouldn't you know it? There was no fabric there to replace it.

How lovely. Now the girl got to see how much of a freak I look like. Who's ever heard of a person with purple hair and eyes, grey skin and a jewel-thing (oops, I mean _chakra_. Jeez, like something stuck to your forehead _has_ to have a name. Why can't I call it broccoli and move on?) on their forehead?

Apparently, from how low this girl's mouth is hanging, she hasn't. The shock was getting a little old...

So I slammed the door and leaned back against it. I truly, really hoped that nothing blew up. The last thing I needed was a blown up blender or a jacked up hair-straightener.

Did I mention my hair was curly? Hm, guess not. Well, it is. And when I don't straighten it, the curls are so tight that they stick to my head. I love my hair, but people think it looks a little weird when a woman has a haircut that looks like a man's. So I straighten it. I had absolutely no idea that my hair was jaw-length before I found that wonderful instrument.

You gotta love humans, sometimes.

Dizzying, isn't it?

I heard a screech from outside and I tried desperately to block it out. Can this girl get any weirder? She's done almost every emotion possible in the time span of five minutes; fear, anxiety, shock, anger, joy, happiness —

Wait, why is she happy?

_Klonk, klonk, klonk!_

Sigh.

She's at it with my door again. One of these days it's going to fall off and then I'll have a reason to be angry at her.

I didn't answer her knocks. Why would I? She had just seen my _ugly_ face and probably wanted to apologize. I didn't feel any sympathy or pity emanating from her, so I guess its okay to venture outside.

Although, it might be dangerous too. She was feeling absurdly happy and, to be honest, I felt a little afraid to go outside. What would she do to me if I did?

Oh God, please make her go away!

"FRIEND RAVEN! I MUST COME IN AT ONCE!"

What happened to being nice? I thought it was an Earth custom to be polite and respect people's privacy and solitude? Dammit, if I wanted to be alone I will!

... Could I be any more retarded? She's not even from Earth, stupid! I guess that explains the rather loud yelling. Oh look! A screw started to jiggle from the door hinge! Keep going, Starfire! Lemme yell at you!

Dang, she stopped. And I really wanted to yell at her so she could go away. I wanted to be her friend, but it wouldn't be worth it in the long run. I would just deeply hurt her and myself.

But that voice in the back of everyone's head that doubts every choice you make, yeah, you know him? Well, now he decides to speak up.

When there's a rather furious alien on the other side of my door. Jeez, this is making me want to sing the 'Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy' song.

Ew.

_Maybe there's a way they can help...?_

Maybe, we'll have to see. But I certainly can't hope now when, in the future, things will mostly likely be not-so-pleasant.

My door all but literally attacked me when I stood up. It swung open and slammed in the spot where I was mere moments ago. My heart pounded behind in my ribcage and I swear my pupils had dilated into the size of peas.

She looked positively... what's the word? Ferocious. Ah, there it is; that's the word I was looking for.

"Friend Raven, I must catch a glimpse of your wondrous face again! I have never —"

"What did you just say?" I hissed. Wondrous? What the hell?

"Friend Raven," she bent down to my level. How funny, _my_ level. How short could I possibly be? Well, at least I wasn't as short as the green kid—ahh, er, _Beast Boy_. Ha ha. How much of a weirder name can you make up?

"Have you ever seen yourself clearly?"

_Yes. And do you know what I see? _I shook my head "no" anyways.

Her grin (and happiness) nearly made me cringe in pain. Not only was it increasingly difficult _not_ to blow anything up, but her teeth were so _bright_. It hurt my head and eyes just to look at her now. How mean; she's possibly the most gorgeous being on the planet, and yet, I can't even look at her without wincing.

She grabbed my arm—can you say "ow" too many times in your head?—and pulled me out the door.

Oh hell no.

My feet planted firmly in the ground and I yanked my hand back. _This_ time _I_ was angry. Who did she think she was, pushing me around and yanking my arms?

"Friend," Growl. "Why do you stop so?" Her head tilted slightly to the side in confusion.

Looks like I'll have to explain everything to her.

"Starfire, people don't take too kindly when they see that..." I searched for the correct word yet again. "they are... _different_ looking."

A raised eyebrow. HOLY HELL! I've never noticed that her eyebrows were like balls of fuzz! That's so incredibly creepy... but in this comforting, self-reliant kind of way.

Sometimes I make myself so disgusted. I can't believe I'm taking comfort in the fact that someone else is different or freakier looking than me.

What kind of person am I?

"Raven," Good, I don't know if I would be able to take one more 'friend' label. "Being different does not mean freaky. Being different means being unique. It means being your own self. Look at me. Do you think I mind it when people look at me like I'm a stupid girl? Yes, I do. But I don't care, as well." I furrowed my eyebrows.

"I'm still not going out there." I _was not_ showing my face to the world. Not yet.

Wow, her eyes looked really pretty. They were a nice jade, with a hint of glowing emerald.

Glowing?

Oh sh—

"FRIEND RAVEN!" Her voice boomed. OW! My eyes were tearing up from the intensity. Damn her mouth is huge, and her lungs. "YOU WILL BE COMING DOWN WITH ME RIGHT NOW!"

I cringed. Imagine one of those megaphones. Now, imagine a whistle. Can you even comprehend what her voice sounded like right now? Now, imagine _both_ of those yelling in your ear.

Yeah, damage.

My ears were literally ringing and a white sheet covered my vision. _Oh my god, _I started to panic, _I can't SEE ANYTHING!_ I could feel myself being dragged somewhere, but I couldn't see anything! The anger and happiness radiating off this girl made me want to pop my eyeballs out! Does she have eight brains, too? That each hold different emotions?

She started murmuring under her breath, "Kl'ax ev-rthop." Her eyes glanced down at me. "W'olpiqe."

Was she cussing me out? WTF!?

Well, if she was, so would I! "Azewothque! Lopue goyenth farque!"

Starfire stopped and pulled me in front of her. Her hands gripping my upper arms so tightly I could imagine the muscles twitching like an insane person on drugs. Who would give an insane person drugs anyway? Maybe I should do it just for the hell of it... Interesting thought, wasn't it? What would happen?

Her eyes blinked like a kitten that's been staring at nothing for too long. Huh, I've seen that before. Beast Boy...

"What did you just say, friend Raven?" Her head cocked to the side, and I swore that if I looked hard enough I could see her right eye twitching.

Did she understand what I said? Oh FU...

...DGE STROODLES!

"I said, eh... howdy do?" Wow. I am, like, the BOMB at creating excuses! She will never notice the difference.

I could tell she didn't. Her smile returned—60 watt bulbs in your eyes—and dragged me off towards the main room. Where the boys were.

Where they would scream and run like chimps on crack.

Hehe, not that I would know what chimps on crack would look like...

But still.

It would hurt, a lot.

I thrashed and kicked in her grip, succeeding in only making my muscles whimper in pain. My arm must be completely torn off by now.

Wait.

I am _such_ an r-tard.

Why don't I just use my powers?

Or, better yet, why don't I just confuse the girl so I don't have to hurt her? Seems easy enough...

I cleared my throat and put on my best cheerleader impersonation.

Not a pretty sight.

"Starfire, where are you taking me?"

Her chin jutted outwards and she smiled down at me. I had the urge to cover my eyes as if I were staring at the sun. Her happiness hit me like a boulder on wheels.

"To the common room."

Here we go. "Why?"

"Because I think your face is the most beautiful face I have ever seen in my life. You should not hide your beauty, friend Raven. It will make others feel awful as well." She was so sincere and so honest that I almost stopped right then and there.

But I didn't.

"Why?"

Her smile faltered. "Because they will think you are giving others a reason to hide."

"Why?"

"Because you are famous and people look up to you."

"Why?"

She was a patient one, I'll give you that. But I was starting to sense irritation. "Because you fight crime and this city was a very bad place before."

"Why?"

"Because it was easy for people to steal."

"Why?"

"Because humans can't defend for themselves as strongly as we can."

"Why?"

Her eyes started to darken with annoyance. "Because they are weak."

"Why?"

"Because... because..." we were in front of the common room now, the doors only feet away. Starfire's eyes searched the ceiling, as if it held the answer to her long awaited question. I glanced up myself, making sure there was no Sharpie or crap drawn up there to help her cheat.

Her jade eyes locked with mine. Her nostrils were flaring and her eyes were glowing again. "BECAUSE I SAID SO!" And with that, her burning hands thrust me through the doors.

Too bad they were locked.

"AHHHH!" I screamed, rubbing my head. There was a tender spot welting already underneath my mauve tresses. Worry and shame filled up the tiny space I was in, and Starfire rushed to my side.

"Oh my! Are you hurt? Did I hurt you? I am so terribly sorry friend Raven! Please forgive me!"

My eyes and mouth shined a drastic white. The pallor on Starfire's face literally went from chestnut, to beige, to green. Her fear and doubt clouded my senses, but I held on.

"You better fly," I said, before my hands started to glow as well. Starfire was frozen with indecision.

Or it could be the ghost of the image at where she once was. I think I heard her squealing down the hall.

I cracked my neck and grinned.

"Asta La Vista," I murmured, not noticing that the door behind me was cracked open a pinch. I turned around, meeting a metal, green, and thong-covered face.

"Eh hehe, yeah... Well... Um... I, uh, gotta go catch some, um, Pokemons. So... yeah."

Pokemons?

What the fu—

* * *

**Authoress Note: **Yes it is supposed to cut off right there. No bad language here, though it is rated T. As you can see I am not very good with humor, but it was a worthwhile effort, right?

...right?

Oh well!

-Gun toten Girly


End file.
